ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
