You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
