Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
