Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
