I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
