bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize