some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
