omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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