is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
