At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
