She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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