So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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