HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
