i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
