That's when you crack a 10am beer
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
