It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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