so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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