To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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