If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
