sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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