They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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