Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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