We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
