come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
