YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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