There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
