I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
