I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She's like a pop up book from hell.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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