I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
