Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
