matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
