it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
