Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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