i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
