Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
