dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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