everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why do cheetos always look like penises
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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