i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
