Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
