the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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