So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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