What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
