would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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