You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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