He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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