i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
