I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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