While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
