The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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