I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
