Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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