How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
