you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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