i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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