Porn is love you can see.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
