new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
