just come out here and I will go home with you...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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