Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize