You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
