He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
