I'm going to jail i love you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
