The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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