Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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