Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
His nipple licking is glorious
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