you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize